being a kid.

do you ever just sit and think about when you were a kid? cause, that's pretty much all i do.

on the 4th of July (which was a month ago, i'm aware), I went to Disneyland for the first time since i was probably 12, maybe younger. i have such vivid memories of it. i wasn't afraid to ride any roller coaster, no matter how far my stomach dropped, or how wet my clothes would get. i wasn't worried about time constraints, or how long the lines were. i wasn't concerned with my life beyond the current moment i was living in.

life was so simple back then. now, i'm not going to sit here and complain about my life today, cause there really isn't anything to complain about. i just find it funny how life just passes us by in the blink of an eye, and we rarely stop to think about it. everyone grows up, unfortunately. we aren't lucky enough to be Peter Pan. though, in the end, i think my goal in life, outside of being able to make films for a living, is to be a kid again. now, i'm talking about actually running around from theme park to theme park or toy store to toy store, i'm talking about living worry free. isn't that what everyone wants out of life? to be worry free? maybe not, maybe some people feed off of worry, it makes them work harder, and therefore, makes them more successful.

i currently live with a friend of the family (or, after this living situation and the things he's done, he'' soon be an ex-friend of the family). he has two boys, who he gets to see twice a week and every other weekend. i have yet to see the boys with any friends. i feel as though their father doesn't allow them to hang out/go out with their friends when he has them. maybe he's doing it because he doesn't want a moment without them, being that he only gets to see them a few times a week, but still i can't help but feel bad for the kids. they go to camp, come home, and play video games with each other. now, while i think brotherly love is great, friendship with others is what makes our hearts grow. their mother has been out of town for the past 10 days, so the man i live with has had them that entire time. not once have i seen them go out or come home with friends. they are 14 and 12. this is the age to make life-long friendships, and do things you'll keep in your memory bank for years to come. why then aren't they being allowed to do so? maybe i'm reading too much into it, and maybe it isn't their father's fault, but these kids are very likable, i know it's not their fault. at the end of the day, it's not my place to butt in. i guess i'm just a concerned outsider.

though i know life only gets more complicated as you grow older, i still feel like i have a chance at accomplishing my goal... maybe not, but hey, i can still dream like a kid right?